Support Services for LGBTQ Youth - SFUSD Student Support Services Department

Voices from our Schools

Rebecca

COUNSELOR
James Denman Middle School

Q: In your role as a counselor, what have you done to create a safer climate for LGBTQ youths and their families?

At our school we’ve created a climate in which people could care less who’s gay and who’s straight. There have been a large number of our students who are very public about the fact that they believe it doesn’t matter. That has encouraged this attitude among a number of students. I think it’s made a difference that I’m out, but if the students had responded to my being out by making a huge deal out of it, I think that the general climate would be a different place.

Q: What’s a fun activity you’ve done for LGBTQ?

Well it wasn’t specific to LGBTQ but during “No Name Calling” week, our diversity club was forwarding anti-bullying texts to other students in the school, and advice about how to deal with bullying. And I think it hit a small number of students this year, but hopefully it’ll grow in future attempts. Because we talked about cyber-bullying in our diversity club, we thought we could use technology to promote an anti-bullying message instead of a prey-bullying message.

Q: What have been some of the challenges or barriers you’ve encountered along the way?

I think that in trying to expand peoples’ opinions and beliefs we’re facing a lifetime, even if it’s a middle school students’ lifetime, of exposure to anti-gay messages. And so it takes questioning some of the things that are most deeply ingrained by the family and/or the church, for people to change their minds. When I hear really straight out, it’s wrong to be gay, often I hear it in the context of students saying this is my religion and the Bible says it’s wrong.

I have a particular student who started her time in middle school believing that it was wrong to be gay, specifically because she perceived herself as serious and committed to her Christianity and believed that’s a big part of her Christianity. She still deeply feels herself to be a Christian, but the fact she has openly gay friends, has completely transformed her acceptance of the variety of sexuality. And like I said, that’s the other kids, that’s not me being out, that’s the fact that she had a best friend who was out.

Q: What inspired you to be a mentor, a guiding force?

Honestly, I came out in high school where there was literally no one else who was gay or bi-sexual. No one had ever been out at the school as far as I know. And it would’ve made a huge difference for me just for there to be one person who I could look at.

Q: What’s been the school community reaction to the work that you’ve done?

I think our school is just extremely supportive of its LGBTQ students. I think the teachers really do care deeply about their safety and happiness. And the ones who started their careers with biases actually have put great effort into their own growth.

It’s not perfect. A teacher came to me the other day and said she had a long conversation at lunch with one of our few “out” boys, and that he had said that Denman was the first place that he felt safe and accepted in his lifetime. And that was just an amazing thing to hear because I do not think that even five years ago at our school a student would’ve said that. When I came to Denman it was still extremely hostile. People shouted “faggot” at each other in the hallway all the time. And I really think that student attitudes have just made such progress in five years.